Thursday 9th June
Tonight’s run was nothing short of an ordeal for pretty much every step of the way. It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve just kept putting it off and putting it off. With the week slipping away tonight seemed the lesser of two evils between Thursday and Friday night. Not a great place to start mentally! Usually I reserve the mental thrashing for the last 5km but tonight the gremlins came from minute 1 and lasted until minute 112.
I often spend large chunks of time on these runs breaking the KM’s up in my head, timing when I’ll finish or generally focussing on the end point. Then there’s a second voice in my head that reminds me to just enjoy running, run tall and see if I can just cruise along- like a hippie in my head! I enter the runs thinking it will be a bit of Bobby Time, a chance to have a think through some stuff but I seldom drift into other thoughts. My conscious brain just hosts a conversation fighting off the negative and welcoming the hippie in.
Tonight, the hippie brain didn’t stand a chance. My conscious brain wasn’t even in the mood to entertain it either. This was a massive slog tonight. It was hot and despite my best efforts to feed and hydrate today I felt like I was low on energy, lethargic and tired…. The perfect shitstorm!
Up to the Downs and round to Clifton my negotiation was:
“What would you prefer?”
“Would you prefer that Katie rang you now to say that you needed to stop so that we could take Autumn to hospital again?”
“Would you prefer to spend the next 2hrs running or in hospital?”
“Would you prefer to stop and do it tomorrow?”
“Would you prefer to stop all together and give everyone back their money?”
The answer is clear… so like a sulking little child I just kept on running. It sure wasn’t pretty, it sure wasn’t quick but I got it done, another one in the bank. I’m a bit disappointed I couldn’t control my mental state better but at least I can still control my legs to put one step in front of the other! Reminding myself of the gratitude required for the lucky position that we are in. I often forget how lucky we are but 2hrs of running a week is nothing. I would do it every day if I had to.
Please hit up justgiving.com/bobsm100 if you haven’t already!
P.S Getting the last Full Fat Coca-Cola on the shelf when you’re extremely thirsty and low on blood sugar is a euphoric moment, I recommend getting into this state just to experience how good that tastes!